Favorite Things

[from top left: new blue shoes; mate flavored pop; the Yosemite sunset; breakfast potatoes; adventures in downtown LA with Janae Rose; double decker slacklines; dating Nick Ham the Man; painting mountains; my parents and all the sunflowers they buy for me.]

Finding Liz Gilbert + Giving up on finding my passion

Downtown LA is not my favorite place to spend my time because of (a) the threat of car accidents (b) getting lost (c) no free parking and (d) getting lost. But Nick and I braved the drive to The Grove to check out the farmer's market on Monday. As we walked past Barnes & Noble on our way back to the car (trying to make it back within the two hours of free parking time bracket), I saw a poster in the window that read "Elizabeth Gilbert The Signature of All Things, October 14, 7:00 PM" which was Monday! I asked Nick if he would please please please please stay*, since it was only about 4:30 PM. Bless his heart, he said yes. 

I bought her new book for $22.00, which came with a wristband to the Q&A/book signing and a free bookmark. What I always wanted! And it turns out- hearing what she had to say what exactly what both Nick and I needed as young, creative people looking for something we may not need to find (insert sigh of relief here). 

On the creative process:

I tend to group all writers into a chunk of workers who are scattered. Mostly because in my writing (or any way that I experience my own creative process) I am scattered with no pattern. But Liz talked about working seasonally; the season of research, the season of writing, the season of introducing your work to the world, and the season of 'staring at the wall' (which means just chilling out). She grew up on a farm and so she tends to keep farming hours, which is to wake up before the rest of the earth and work steadily until about 11 o'clock. "Never hurry; never stop" is what she emphasized on the creative process. Just do your work, do your work, do your work, but don't rush through it and be persistent with it. Instead of following what inspires you, work to develop your creative process. "Inspiration is a one-night stand. Creativity is a 40-year marriage." Creativity will foster commitment, and vice versa. 

On finding your passion:

An girl in the audience about my age asked the question, "What is your advice for young people who aren't sure what they're passionate about yet and how do we find it?" She answered emphatically that she thinks it is very important that we don't let trying to find our passion cripple us. 

If you know you're passionate about something, great! But it was like she was saying that looking too hard for it would bring us down. And passion, for me, has done just that during the past year as I left college and moved to a new city. What is my passion?! Where do I find it?! I have thought so long and hard about it that it has crippled me from feeling passionate about anything really. Mostly, I have felt deeply discouraged about doing things that don't make me feel alive; like my life is being wasted because I am not doing what I was meant to do, but what is that anyways?! It's like being in a damn pressure cooker. 

"If you are feeling like that right now, I just want to release you from that! To liberate you from the burden of finding your passion. Instead, follow your curiosity." Tears were welling in my eyes because I felt the liberation. It is so less pressurized to feel free to explore the things I am curious about rather than to endlessly chase the things people have told me I need to catch.

More than anything, Liz seemed to want to convey that we should be bold, be deliberate and persistent, but also be free. To live lovingly & gently to yourself and to the people around you. And maybe to sum up this, I'll just quote what my friend Emily wrote lately and that is, "Life is just about arranging yourself and the things that are yours in the direction of loving those around you, those who are gifts to you. That's the task at hand." And that would add up to living passionately and curiously and creatively. 

*Just as a brief foot note, we spent all afternoon in B&N and ended buying another two books before leaving. Liz Gilbert's The Last American Man which we've already read and highly recommend and A Paramedic's Story by Steven Grayson for Nick, since he's just launching himself out into that wild world, which he also recommends. While you're at it, we also recommend Love Does by Bob Goff and Wild by Cheryl Strayed.

From Neruda-

Don't go far off, not even for a day, because -- 
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long 
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station 
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep. 

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because 
then the little drops of anguish will all run together, 
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift 
into me, choking my lost heart. 

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach; 
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance. 
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest, 

because in that moment you'll have gone so far 
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking, 
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?