This month, Nick is in Alaska fishing. So it's been just Zuri, Copper, and me at the house. Copper is our friend Brad's hound dog. Brad is in Alaska too.
The days feel short and the nights feel broken up by the movement of the pups. Each day is similar- wake up around 5:30 with the dogs; let them dance their dance, sometimes they fall asleep again but hardly ever; I go to work, I come play with them at lunch, then work, then come home and play with them in the yard, walk the slackline alone, and take Zuri for a run. I made dinner and then I go to bed.
Yesterday, I almost walked out of work and never went back. It was a hard day. My best friend Victoria, who is in medical school, has been making good use of the summer climbing mountains. She had just come down from Rainier yesterday, feel her heart pumping all her blood and exhaustion overcoming her, and I was just here...in my box of an office. My heart was breaking. My husband is living in the big vast wilderness of Alaska doing hard work, my brother Mark is wandering the world with just a few things on his back, Victoria is scaling mountains, and the four walled life is not the life for me.
It's tough. Reality sets in pretty quick. School loans are a heavy load to carry. Much heavier than the pack I'd like to be carrying on my pack through the trails of the Continental Divide. Nick and I have talked about living in a van. Maybe when Zuri is a little older. I want to see the National Parks. I want to put all our new wedding gifts in storage. Each day I spend in this office, I think of all the sunlight and fresh air I'm missing out on. And how everyone else I love is out there, somewhere, in the wild.
