23.

The wilderness and wild animals!

Oh I am 23 years old today! So I'm still very young, but I found my first gray hair on top of my head two days ago, which made me feel old. A real gray hair! What is this!? I pulled it out immediately of course. But today, I feel full of laughter and a joy that's about to burst. There are a couple things that have been occupying my mind lately and I want to remember that this is what I was thinking between 22 and 23 years old:

1. How Jesus is in me and heaven is close at hand at any given moment- the Gospel abounds in me and wants to get out and about. 
2.  How wildness is also something that abounds in me, and creates freedom of heart, mind and spirit and connects me to the God of nature. 
3. A strong appreciation for comedy and craving the feeling of laughing my face off, and to make others laugh too.
4. How I'm supposed to dress for a California winter. 
5. How I'm going to save enough to get to Norway. Also how to dress for winter there. 

But the thought of becoming older has also been on my mind. I'm such an adult now that Nick and I could get married if we wanted to; we can make that decision and no one can tell us we can't! I'm such an adult that I have to pay student loans, pay my cell phone bill, keep up my entire household (err- my trailer), and be proactive about taking care of my joints. Now is the time (I am told) to start thinking about retirement, which I hope to do by 30, move to a Mexican beach with my folks and spend the rest of our lives tanning and putting the lime in the coconut. I'm such an adult in fact, that I now have to change the oil in my car instead of taking it home to my father. 

Let me elaborate a little bit on this, cause I think it is important. No one in my family has ever, ever, ever lacked for something to drive. We also never have to "take the car in". Because my father is a baller. He has built cars from scratch. He has brought cars back to life from their oily graves. And he has always taught me that if I take my car to a mechanic, he will charge me like a gypsy for things that aren't even wrong with it. Over this past weekend, I was in a hurry so I told Nick that we would just go through a Jiffy Lube-type place and get the oil changed quickly so we could go do other things. The guy at the shop looked under the hood and told me there was an oil leak and that the new oil I needed would be $80. 

Needless to say- we bought our own oil and filter, scrounged around for some car jacks and tools, and Nick Ham my man changed the oil in my car. Which I let him do reluctantly after realizing that my father was in fact, a thousand miles away. And I cried about this- like a baby, not an adult- because I missed my father and realized that my life was changing. But here's the thing: my dad taught me how to change oil in a car years and years ago, so it's nothing new to me. Which was of course my dad's point in teaching me, so that one day when I was 23, I would know how to do it myself.