It doesn't work this way.

David and I backpacked across Europe a couple winters ago. I was searching for the perfect scarf- it needed to be soft and whipped and warm. After searching in Paris for 3 days with no luck, I came across a craft shop deep down an alleyway. 

The shelves were high with every single color of yarn you could imagine. Color coordinated and stacked with exact symmetry, each in it's own cubby-type box with a French label and a price in Euros. The shelves were high, wall-to-wall, and some boxes couldn't be reached without help.

I picked a thick red yarn. I sat in the icy train station and made my own scarf, knowing the only way to get what I wanted was to create it myself. 

I'm thinking so much of those shelves today. How nice it would be to put every project, every pain, every memory, every joy, every choice in a box. Organized, labeled. That I could pull off the shelf and create something out of whatever is inside whenever I want. 

But mostly, it would be so nice to be able to stand in front of the shelves with their boxes and not have to make a single decision. Just be able to look up at them, let them stay where I put them; knowing that I could stand there forever...not deciding anything.