Lion Hunting

I know I've written about goals, and that Nick and I had made a list together about things we wanted to accomplish in the next couple years. Well...one of those dreams came true two weeks ago. We picked up our little girl, Zuri the Rhodesian Ridgeback. 

I knew I wasn't going to make it much longer not having a dog- there was a big space in my life. And Nick has been absolutely committed to getting a Ridgeback. So we pinched our pennies and brought this little fine dime home. Ridgebacks were originally bred to hunt lions in South Africa, and they're a combinations of a lot of different breeds. She's already trying to keep BearCat in line (even though he literally doesn't do anything at all). 

We got her because we knew this would be the perfect companion for running and hiking, which we do a lot. We also really missed our community of people at the dog park and I'm super excited for her to finally finish her shots, attend her first puppy obedience class, and hit the park and meet all her new friends. 

Growing up, my parents never let my brother and I have a dog. That's okay, I'm making up for it now and I'm learning so much. First, that life with a dog is crazy and it's better than life without one. Second, dogs will always love you and they will never judge you. That's something I think everyone needs in their life more. And third, how to be kind and understanding. Not that I'm a mean person, but teaching them takes time and being gentle and patience is key. Having a dog makes me a better person. 

La boda jamón

The Circuit- Portland, Oregon

It's been two months since Nick asked me to be his forever lady. I'm so stoked to marry such a wild character. Nick is definitely the stuff dreams are made of- I could get lost in his eyes and his beard and his delicious Nick Ham breakfasts. Mhmmmm...

I'm going to write about wedding planning for a little while. It wasn't something I grew up dreaming about and planning, so I feel excited at all these new little discoveries and the experience as a whole. Ah I already lied. I'm actually pretty intimidated by it, and I've asked my friend Trevor to just take my colors and my budget and make it work. 

Then, on Sunday, I bought my dress and my heart swelled with joy! I had tears in my eyes when I typed in my credit card number and got the confirmation email (what a beautiful moment with my iPad, huh?). Nick laughed from my living room because I was all ooey gooey over the fact that the dress itself comes from an environmentally responsible company that produces sustainable fashion by recycling old or excess fabric. That was important to me. It was important to me not to have to think too hard about the dress; I bought it because it was exactly what I'd been imagining. Oh, and it was on SALE. We're simple folk, folks. 

SO! This will be a simple wedding. This will be a happy wedding. A fun wedding. I hope our love is the centerpiece, and that we can celebrate this day with all our good friends and family. Look for more posts or follow me on the Insta-waves for every day nonsense and photos of my dog.

10 Things to Remember to Do Before I'm 30

My friend Emily inspired me to make a list of long term goals. She updates her list every year, and I am just starting one. Nick has a few to put on here, that we'll try to do as a team, but here are just a couple long term goals I have :). 

Walk a high line

Become an expert light weight backpacker

Hike the PCT with Zuri, our Rhodesian Ridgeback

Save $10,000

Develop a creative start up business

Pay off my student loans

Get a couple more dogs

Build our Tiny House

Run a trail marathon

Publish a small book of collaborative poems and short stories

There are a few more, and I need to make a more comprehensive list! But for now, I hope these few inspire you to make your own list. 

Frosts + Grapes

There was a freak frost last week. Then some freak snow. There was a big storm moving down from Alaska, and everything was frozen solid. We drove out to some friend's vines and picked extra sweet, freezing cold grapes and let them melt in our mouths. "A late season Riesling for ya!" is what our friend Tom called them. We went out to Bennington Lake and sat on the ridge overlooking the valley- we could see the fog rolling over the Blues.

This has been a season of sudden change. When we were in California, we missed the seasons. But back here, we watched the leaves turn to fire and drop, watched the ice glaze over them. This season. The dog was hit by a car, and we cried harder than we ever have before. We made a big life decision, we started putting away a lot more money and not eating out as much. We chose our bridal party. We even changed the direction the kitchen table sits in my studio. The BearCat sleeps on the bed with me at night, which is a new experience, he is such a big lump. I am trying to walk to work.

There is a season for everything. I believe that, truly. And that seasons teach us and mold us and allow us to accept change, both the instant and the gradual. Seasons teach us to let go of things that were never meant to last, and to be open and at peace to the new things that will come.

everything burned. 
like I was butter and you were the sun
and I stood there, melting
right in front of you. 

Octobers.

Our dog died this past month. And we got engaged.

There have been a lot of emotions. And I think above all, we've become each other's ultimate support partner is grieving the loss of our best bud. Nick and I haven't started planning a wedding. We're not looking at venues. Instead, we've been looking at puppies online, wondering if maybe now is the time to try to pick up our broken pieces. 

I borrowed a dog from the humane society this week. A skinny little terrier/chihuahua mix who has been surrendered with five other dogs. They'd been living in a car with their owner who actually owned ten dogs. He was very skinny. But we brought him home. We went to the pet store together, we brought out all our old doggie stuff, played games with him, gave him a bath, and that night he slept in bed with me and our cat. 

And I just couldn't do it. For no particular reason. He just wasn't Pip, and he was never going to be, despite how sweet and darling and attached he was. I took him back to the humane society, and I cried when I told them I didn't think I was the right owner for him. They reassured me that "that's okay! That's why we do the home trials! He'll find a good home!" But I still felt like I was losing another dog all over again. Kicking myself for trying to force this poor dog into my Pip-shaped hole to stop the bleeding. Hating how the dog knew I was bringing him back, that I didn't want him and he'd never see me again. 

I don't think I've ever felt more of a desire for heaven to be real. Curled up on my yoga mat one night, I asked God and the Universe through desperate tears to be reassured that I'll see the damn dog again. Because this world is truly the loneliest place, and I need to have hope that things will be different and things won't suck so much, even if I have to wait my whole life for it.  

perfect dog.