"we can't sit by and do NOTHING."

I just read I’m Not Leaving by Carl Wilkens. I tried not to zoom through it but it was so DIFFICULT because my anxiety of what would happen next made my eyeballs skip over words, just skimming them, and then I’d have to catch myself and say "noooo, not again!!", go back and re-read paragraphs.
The book is a first-hand account of Wilkens who was the only American to stay in Rwanda during the genocide in 1994. He was in Kigali through the whole thing, 88 days of sniper and gunfire. He was doing whatever he could to deliver food and water to orphanages in need and had to cross through checkpoints on each trip out through the city where killers with machetes and assault rifles checked his ID and, each time, allowed him to pass through.
It’s rough, totally nuts. And if you read it, it’s going to drive you nuts and make you throw your empty hands around, wanting to be filled with the desire to LIVE for God. To be brave and learn what it really means to trust God with all your whole heart, soul and mind. It makes you want to put yourself out there, all vulnerable and open-hearted.
I am not simply inspired; I am ready. Ready to do something big, to get myself in gear and start running down God's trail for me. The trail that is a little fuzzy around the edges, but I know it's there!
I’m whirlwinded by the story- by how humans can be on such opposite sides of the spectrum, and yet can meet in the middle where God works things out for a good thing. People amaze me- all of them.

“Following our conscience is what it really boils down to. I believe in the end we answer to one Person and that is God. All of my security, all of my strength, all of my ability to do anything comes from God. In the years since the genocide, I’ve come to the conclusion that God supplies these three things- security, strength, and ablilty- less through miraculous interventions and more through ordinary people, the laws of nature, and simple laws of God. Laws like treat others as you would like to be treated, and love your enemies. Simple laws like those.” (52)