I am SO AT A LOSS as to what to put down in words! Everything is a'jumbled and out of order. Like a tangled ball of yarn. Or the current state of my dirty hair. Turned my phone off. Heated up my cold coffee. Told someone to stop before they started. Blew out the bathroom light bulb. Arrived to the day, fresh at 5:30. Scraped ice from the windows. Spray painted a table. Ran through Home Depot...again. Hand washed sweaters in the tub. Prayed so helplessly for help. For others. For me. For generosity and broken hearts. Need a boat, need a plane. Need to be off this train.
Yeowsa, this said it Becka. Sometimes when I feel this way, I have to resort to talking aloud--when I'm alone. Sometimes I am talking to myself (countering the self in me that is shredding me to pieces) and sometimes I'm talking to God. I love the way you put it--"praying helplessly for help", those lows are absolutely so important (just what you want to hear when you're in one--sorry.) Ok, here is a quote by mary oliver.
“Love, love, love, says Percy. And hurry as fast as you can along the shining beach, or the rubble, or the dust.
Then, go to sleep. Give up your body heat, your beating heart. Then, trust.” ― Mary Oliver
I hear ya sista, I think I'm on the same train you are on....
ReplyDeleteYeowsa, this said it Becka. Sometimes when I feel this way, I have to resort to talking aloud--when I'm alone. Sometimes I am talking to myself (countering the self in me that is shredding me to pieces) and sometimes I'm talking to God. I love the way you put it--"praying helplessly for help", those lows are absolutely so important (just what you want to hear when you're in one--sorry.) Ok, here is a quote by mary oliver.
ReplyDelete“Love, love, love, says Percy.
And hurry as fast as you can
along the shining beach, or the rubble, or the dust.
Then, go to sleep.
Give up your body heat, your beating heart.
Then, trust.”
― Mary Oliver