who made it all.

When people talk about near-death experiences, I’m always like “wow, that’s really crazy” and I don’t really think about it afterwards. I don’t really take them seriously when they say “God saved me.” It’s probably cause I didn’t have a near-death experience until this past week, when I was surfing at Pacific City in Oregon. I’m not the best surfer in the world. I do not “shred”. It’s a big deal if I stand up and stay standing for more than 8 seconds. But I love surfing, the pull of the ocean is wild and magical. And I want to be a part of it. So I never ever pass up an opportunity to go.

Matt Randall (my boss and friend) and I woke up at 4am on Saturday to drive the 6 hours to the coastline where our friends were already waiting. We struggled into our wetsuits, grabbed boards and made a break for the water. I paddled out by myself, caught a couple, STOOD UP!!, and fell down a few times. It was so perfect.  

Then came a lull in the surf, and Lorren Libby, Matt Randall, Jordan Harder and Shawn Wilkens plus little tiny me paddled out. Then came the waves- HUGE ONES. And we went up & over them like a slow roller coaster. The water was freezing and I was glove-less. I watched the guys disappear over the hills of water and I thought “How am I supposed to get back to shore??” because I knew I was way too inexperienced to actually surf back in. I thought maybe I could get myself placed perfectly enough to slide into the white water of a wave break.

But it took me out, hard, before I could catch my breath. The water was ripping me to shreds like I was tumbling in a clothes dryer. All I could think about was my board coming back to smack me in the head and knock me out or a fin slicing my face. It’s hard to figure out how much time you’re under water, because it feels like an eternity. I popped up and couldn't feel the sandy bottom with my feet- I’d swallowed so much salt water I could hardly breathe.

I had just enough time to scream “Maaaattt!!!!” knowing he couldn't hear me before another wave crashed over the top of my head. In the middle of it, I thought “I can’t hold my breath anymore, I'm exhausted…oh my goodness, am I going to drown out here?” Millions of seconds seemed to race by me, while I tried to fight against the water. But again, I came to the surface with another wave coming at me.

I looked at it hopelessly, with the wind knocked out of my lungs, and whispered “Jesus, please do something.”

It took me out just as hard as the last two and pushed me far enough up the shore that I could stand, but it was difficult to walk. My feet stuck in the sand and my eyes were cloudy from the salt. My lungs could not get enough air and my head was pounding. I dragged my board up and lay down on the beach.

What if I hadn’t been able to hold my breath any longer? How could anyone have known I was out there? Or could have swam in and pulled in me out in those monster waves? I don't want to think about it!

So yeah, it is pretty crazy. God and His life-saving business.